There are certain persons in our extended family, who exult in the "Holiday Letter." You know what I mean, those holiday missives sent to your family by relatives you hardly see the rest of the year, to impress upon you how perfect their lives are. In reality, their marriage might be falling apart, and one of their kids just got out of rehab for their addiction to Ritalin, and the other one is about to be suspended from school, but everyone is deliriously happy, well-adjusted and successful. Often, I have threatened to send out the "anti-Holiday Letter" but I really doubt the people who participate in the Holiday Letter ritual would get the joke.
Unfortunately, I am in a situation this year, where a straight holiday letter is not only a good idea, but is almost necessary. This year has been such a busy one, that an update for distant family is pretty much necessary.
But that doesn't mean that my first draft was my best one:
"As many of you know, we usually don’t do this “Holiday Newsletter” thing. Mostly, because I lack the time, interest or motivation to write one of these self-aggrandizing tomes every year. BUT, 2009 was a banner year in our Household (what we have been calling “The Lost Year”), so here we go!
The oldest son graduated from college this year, immediately moved home and is now camping out in our basement. He does have a job (working for daddy), but shows no sign of moving out. He has come in handy as a Nanny a time or two however.
#2 son (otherwise known "as the hole into which we pour money" graduated from high school and headed off the the hinterlands of the Midwest for college. Apparently, freezing cold, tornadoes and an appalling lack of Starbucks held an attraction for him somehow.
Our youngest son continues to amaze us. Sometimes it's hard to believe he is from the same gene pool as the other two boys. He is a straight "A" student and is shaping up to be a brilliant musician. We should get the DNA results back next week.
My darling husband has taken up homebrewing his own beer. Homebrewing goes excellently with his other hobbies, fishing, shooting guns, motorcycles and fast cars.
I am in the full throes of menopause, complete with hot flashes and mood swings. Or as hubby calls it "peri-menopausal and semi-homicidal." BTW, his broken arm is healing nicely......I TOLD him not to touch the thermostat!
We are really looking forward to the Holiday Season this year. Everybody will be home for Christmas (everyone made bail) and we have made it through another year without any "surprise grandkids" showing up.
Wishing you and yours a Joyous Holiday and a Successful New Year!